An open letter to the folks at carnival cruises

Jen and I recently took a 5 night cruise. It wasn't bad...However there where issues that needed to be addressed. After the cruise we sent them the following letter:

Dear Carnival associates,To start, Lauren was very helpful and informative as we began to book this cruise. She addressed many of our concerns and made us feel comfortable taking a cruise with Carnival, even though Michaels first cruise experience was negative. Her enthusiasm was well noted and Jennifer and I looked forward to the cruise were excited to hear about our room assignment which was categorized as an "upgrade." We had paid for an oceanview room and were "upgraded" to a room on a higher deck with an ocean view. When we checked the room online and saw it was obstructed, red flags went up but we were assured it was fine.Upon arrival at the ship, we saw that it was not so much the obstruction ofthe water (you couldn't see any water unless you went outside and looked over the side) but the fact that there was a bench outside the window and a public walkway outside the room, complete with ashtrays for smokers. This disturbed us greatly and we took our first trip to the Purser. We were told they didnt know what was happening and to come back at 5:00. After a mediocre, cafeteria caliber meal, we went to the Purser and were told they would leave a note for us and we could come back at 7 to check. At 7:00 we were told they didnt know and we should come back at 9. At 9:00 after noticing our air conditioner was not working at all, even after figuring out to open the vent on the ceiling, we went to the Purser to be told that the ship was full and there was nothing they could do. We were then further told that the possibility existed that people would not return to the ship at a port (people not wanting to continue their cruise, that doesn't bode well) and then maybe we could get a different room. Knowing that chance was slim, Jennifer asked for another compensation such as shipboard credit and we were told that was not possible. This was very upsetting and we felt blown off by the man at the pursers desk who gave the snide comment to Jennifer "perhaps you want us to move people out of their rooms...hmmm?"Jennifer walked around the ship and I returned to the room. I contacted housekeeping to report the AC issues. They suggested that I "adjust" the thermostat on the ceiling. The "thermostat" is a handle that just opens or closes a vent. This is not a thermostat. Even with the vent open, no cool air was coming out. A maintenance man came after the second phone call and proceeded to take the unit apart. While he was doing this, he got many calls on rooms that were too hot. He said he would check the main unit and finish repairs on the ceiling before 9:00 the next morning while we were out.We got up and left the room and came back around 11:00 and the unit was still broken. Another call was made. We went out again, came back and the unit was still not repaired. Finally when we got back from 8:00 dinner seating, the unit was working.Reference the window overlooking the walkway: This should not be marketed as an oceanview room, obstructed or otherwise, and certainly not an upgrade.The fact that you had to keep the drapes drawn means you might as well have an interior room, and that is not what we paid for. The fact that the window is tinted is of no consequence in the evening when the lights are on and its dark outside, people can SEE inside the room. Plus, you can see them at all times. The sign next to the window telling you to keep the drapes closed and lights off to avoid navigational problems is an insult to our intelligence. One cannot see the bow of the ship from the room and the rest of the ship is lit up like a Christmas tree; this notice was just there because the fact is, people can see into your room.Very insulting indeed.The quality of food on this ship was not the caliber I expected nor experienced on other cruises. One hot dish, iceberg lettuce, rice, one dessert, and Bologna does not a quality buffet make. The variety of the items in the Mediterranean cafe was lacking and the caliber of food fell short. The presentation as well as the preparation was that of a cafeteria.Just because it is a buffet does not mean it needs to be poor quality. On other cruise lines there were many items, a lot of variety, and the food more sophisticated in flavor. The lobster night in the dining room was good, but the other nights the food was tired or overcooked. We sometimes like to have a meal in the buffet because we want to eat quicker and go onto a fun activity rather than being tied down to a 2 hr meal in the dining room. We found that in order to get a meal of any quality we had to go to the dining room. Other cruise lines make sure that the same entrees, maybe with the exception of lobster, are echoed in their buffets. There are also mixed field greens, international cheeses, innovative salads, and for desserts we were spoiled for choice. On the Victory, there was one dessert at dinner in the Med Cafe. The deli had nice sandwiches and the chevre pizza was good, but I don't spend that kind of money to have deli and pizza. I also don't understand the logic behind more choices for lunch than for dinner. Lunch was the better meal overall, with the last sea day lunch being the best one. For example there was a spinach, yam, and potato salad with goat cheese that was excellent. Why wasn't this caliber of food served throughout the cruise and for the dinner buffet as well. Breakfast was less than the offerings at a Bob's Big Boy or Sizzler. Toast was constantly cold.Only plain bagels? Tater tots? Again it was like a school cafeteria. Iceberg lettuce and Bologna are just not items for a cruise buffet. The Mississippi"BBQ" was not. Hot dogs on a roller and hamburgers are not BBQ. Not even a bottle of BBQ sauce for good measure. Again, food was quality of a school cafeteria.This is especially true when you have to wait on extraordinarily long lines for food of this quality. Certain times of the day it was impossible to pass certain areas, especially on Lido and Promenade for the crowds. Why can't people serve themselves from both sides of the lines. Design it so tha there are two spoons, one on either side of a dish so that two queues can form. The crowding was extreme. Dining rooms sometimes opened late.Promenade and Photo galleries were impassable at times.I thought that only certain areas were designated for smoking. There was no announcement or enforcement of this. As far as I am concerned, the whole ship was smoking with the exception of seated dining rooms and the SPA/Gym.People were smoking where there weren't any ashtrays. Wherever they wanted.No crew member told them not to. This was very disappointing. You could smell it down the stateroom halls. There were many smokers and they did it everywhere.I understand that there were many children on this summer cruise. There were also jacuzzis and areas that were designated as adult only. This was not enforced as kids were in clubs and in the adult only jacuzzi back in Sirens.In fact, Sirens was so full of children it was not the quiet respite I was expecting. When they closed the main pool due to weather, they kept it closed even after the seas were calm, well before 8:00. This meant that Sirens was overrun with kids, infants, and their smoking parents. There should not be smoking where food is served and when you walked into Sirens the smoke just overwhelmed you. Kids were in areas designed for adults. I don't mean teenagers, but kids under 12.We went on the Halifax/Peggy's Cove excursion. Now there is so much to this area that we want to do a road trip; it was very pretty. This trip included a salmon bake lunch. I do not eat salmon but was told there were alternative choices. The only choice was pasta. I expected a dish on par with salmon. I was given a small bowl of spaghetti with thin red sauce the color of ketchup and a piece of garlic bread. It looked like the child's portion. Not even apiece of chicken or anything in it. Jennifer gave me her vegetables and rice so there would be something to this meal. For the price paid I would expect something on par with the price of a salmon dish as an alternative choice.Despite the shortcomings of this cruise, the crew, service staff, room stewards, dining staff, etc., were very helpful, nice, and supportive. They're not to blame for any of these problems and were doing their best under the circumstances. Activities were fun and the Victory dancers performed very well with lightning costume changes and strenuous dancing. Fine job.I regret to say although there were high moments during this cruise, I think we will not be cruising on Carnival Cruise lines again in the foreseeable future. Although the effort was great on the part of the crew, the issues previously mentioned are serious and cause me to be skeptical and wary about booking another cruise with Carnival.Thank you for your time.


Sorry about the formatting. The copy/paste didn't seem to 'take' well
Their response?
A form letter, sorry, bla bla bla. Here's a 50 dollar ship board credit for each of you. Usable in the next 18 months. But you have to give us 30 days notice.....

Screw em. Next time we'll try Norwegian.